Today, on whim, I logged back onto my Tumblr and going through my old posts is just a reminder of how in love/heartbroken I was and how strong my feelings could be.
There are days I cannot be strong. Nights I rather drown in tear stained sheets than wade in the ruin. Sometimes my soul is tired of trying. Sometimes my mind must be messy within itself. I cannot force myself to carry the weight of wreckage when my heart is weak. There are moments it must be laid to rest, that I must be put in place. And that does not mean I am giving up, it does not mean I surrender to the madness. It simply shows I’ve been fighting so hard I need to settle into the chaos. Sometimes I need to sleep with my sorrow, let it surround me until tomorrow.
“When they work, long distance relationships are the best sort of beautiful, I think. That a person could wait months, cross miles and oceans for a few short spectacular moments with the person they love, that’s it, you know, that’s what we’re all searching for.”
“I want you at your drunkest night - when you cannot
think straight and come tumbling through the doorway
with a bottle in your hand and a cigarette between
your lips. I want you in my bed when you cannot sleep and ask why
God does not reveal Himself, and then proceed to
wonder if there is an alternative universe out there,
where nothing goes wrong and everything falls into its
place. I want you when you are slamming the doors and
punching holes in the wall out of frustration. Come to
me when you are angry and scream, just scream all you
want or do not speak at all. I want you when you are tough to handle and when you
cannot take care of yourself. I want those rough hands
with a soft heart when sarcasm takes over and the only
color you can see is red. I will still want you then. I want you when you are drunk or sober
(and everything in between).”